"A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe." — Madeleine L'Engle

Friday, March 26, 2010

Angeles, my cousin

March 26, 2008 was one of the saddest days for me but it was also a day when I learned many things. This day also had a big impact on what I like to call my reading life.

It was one of the saddest days because my cousin died. She was a little baby of only 23 days that had done no harm to anyone. I could probably go into detail of exactly what happened. The worse part was that she died while we went on a little trip a couple of hours away from where my aunt and grandma live. We were in a church when she started to do nothing, no crying and no sleeping. It was in Mexico and what I couldn't understand was why it had to happen when it was my first time going over there without my parents. I can't really say how I felt when she closed her eyes and appeared as if she were merely going to sleep. When I saw her doing that I had no idea of what was happening.

What happened that day made me realize many things. I learned that I had to live my life and spend time with those that I love because there will be a time when I won't be able to do that ever again. As hard as it was, I had to come to terms that people die everyday and you truly never know when that time will come for you.

When I came back to the U.S. I took a long time trying to see who I was, what I was doing wrong, and what I was doing right. After that time I tried to change for the better. Part of that change was reading. Before then I read but not as much as I do now. I remember seeing how reading was one of the few things that helped me go through that night. Reading calmed me down and helped me not to get overwhelmed seeing all the people that night.

After that time reading became a constant in my life. It's something I know will calm me down when I need it. I hear people saying that they have been reading since they were little kids but that's not the case with me. The first thing that got me into reading was Harry Potter and the second was the death of my cousin. Now my life keeps going and I learned that you have to go along with it. Three things that I won't be able to part with is the memory of what happened, of all those people, and of course the love for books that I got from that experience.

In school, right after I came back, we started poetry and my teacher told us we had to write poems. Most of my classmates had trouble with it but I didn't. Here are some of the poems that I wrote of this experience:

Poem 1                                    Poem 2
Where did she go?                    In the day she was
Why did she go?                       Then in the night she wasn't
She was the best                      She was away from us
Simple as that
Angeles, Angeles
What a little baby                     Poem 3
We had                                    The day was so hot
A small little baby                   The night was so sad and cold
That did nothing                      She had gone away
But stay
For a little while                   
At least
Angeles, Angeles

My aunt was so happy
But she went away
"Why did she go," she said
Angeles, Angeles

She'll always be here
She'll always be here
I said

I know they may not be that good but I like them. They came from the heart and that's all I really care about.